“Lullaby” is one of my favorite tracks in my album, Reflection,Song is recorded in 2015 and released as part of the album in 2016. The song is lyrically unique, carrying a mystery within itself. In this article, I am going to reveal the meaning behind the song’s lyrics.
This is an encrypted song that very few have ever understood. I was even asked on the radio interview, “What is this all about?” I responded that this song is a response to different situations in my life. So now, I am ready to reveal its symbolism.
Let’s start with the hook, which goes:
- ) “This is a lullaby, a lullaby for my doubters. This is a lullaby, a lullaby for my haters.”
The hook expresses the song’s fundamental essence, portraying an easy and calm response to those who doubt me and harbor negativity. The intention is not to address specific individuals but rather to provide a general overview of why I might be upset. Despite having a list of people I dislike and i am ready to murder, the song refrains from mentioning concrete names. The hook draws parallels between my lyrical style in this song and a lullaby, conveying the message that, even if the content may seem harsh, it is presented in a soothing manner. It’s akin to saying, “If you feel offended by this, remember that I am taking it easy on you, just like a lullaby.” The song adopts a pleasant facade for its poisonous content, subtly suggesting that despite the calm exterior, there’s still potential for more intense expression. This song serves as a general summary of the situation.
Then we get to the beginning of the first verse where i say following:
2.) “Some people do wonder why am i so angry? It is because you come against me with your disbelief”
If there’s one thing that makes my blood boil, it’s when people don’t recognize my greatness in rap. By “disbelief,” I mean disbelief in my rapper skills and future potential.
3.) “Trying to infect me with your misery. Me and you do not share the same values obviously.”
People who consistently express disbelief in my potential as a rapper are,according to my personal value system, those are people leading a miserable life. It feels as though they are attempting to infect me with their misery, and there are multiple interpretations for this phenomenon.
Firstly, people often criticize others’ work as a way to compensate for the chaos in their own lives, reflecting their own misery.
Secondly, even if someone leads a seemingly normal and average life, if they try to convince me that it’s the best path for me as well, I interpret it as them “trying to infect me with their misery.”(Usually normal bland life doesn’t provide happiness, It might pay the bills, but nothing else)
This leads to the realization that we do not share the same values.
Furthermore, the line suggests an additional meaning – that these individuals with miserable lives are attempting to influence my mental state with their own misery. I use the word “infect” in this context because I perceive their worldviews same as an illness.
4.) “So if you think you can disrespect me I’ll give you title “peace of shit nobody” And i don’t feel sorry”
Disbelief in my abilities as a rapper is, in my perspective, is the most profound form of disrespect. In response, I no longer perceive such individuals as human;
to be precise, I view them as worthless, trash or even less than that (a piece of shit, nobody). Regardless of their relationship to me, whether they are relatives or ex-friends, they forfeit all my respect, and I feel no remorse for this consequence. Therefore, one should not anticipate me delving into a sentimental state afterward. This is a war! My commitment to my rap takes precedence over any regard for them.
5.)”Later you little people will follow me beg me for forgiveness cause you can’t take the stress”
Having experienced disrespect towards my core identity as a rapper, I regard those individuals as insignificant and of little consequence.(little people)
Interestingly, in many instances where people have engaged in conflicts with me, they eventually find themselves following my work. Ultimately, they attempt to reconcile with me, suggesting that they struggle to endure the stress that conflicts with me entail.
Despite this, I remain indifferent to their actions. If a conflict arises, I deal with it without much concern.
Rap music holds greater importance to me than interpersonal relationships.
6.) “My attitude reflects yours
And i can double the force
Like an amplifier”
Essentially, I don’t see myself as an evil villain.
In conflicts, I simply take my role seriously, fundamentally i am reflecting your attitude towards me.
However, I add my own twist by intensifying the force of anger and hate.
In this sense, I function as an amplifier. If I come off as a jerk, you have no reason to complain; it’s a reflection of your own actions, except it’s at least double sized of the original source.
7.) “Im a Kshatri going with a fire”
Being a follower of certain Hindu religious traditions, I find it an honor to write this line.
In Sanskrit, Kshatriya refers to a warrior and leader caste, and as I adhere to this tradition, I’ve been identified as one by my teachers and through the detection methods used in this philosophy.
When i say “going with a fire.” I highlight the nature of a Kshatriya, characterized by a fiery disposition. It also serves as a warning that engaging in conflict with me is same as playing with fire.
8.) While you perform irresponsibility
This is related to haters being irresponsible in their communication with me.
When I am talking, I always try to treat people with respect, even if I am not sure about their intentions or if I disagree with their worldviews. However, if you step over your boundaries and don’t use respectful language, you might get introduced to my fiery nature.
9.) “At first they talk shit on me
Cause they lack the lead over their destiny.
Im feeling happy while they feeling their jealousy”
These lines still revolve around people who impulsively disrespect me and later seek forgiveness.
When I say, “At first, they talk shit on me,” and follow with, “Cause they lack the lead over their destiny,” I’m emphasizing that if someone disrespects you, it’s often because their life hasn’t unfolded as they wished. It’s like they’re pouring out the bitterness they’ve accumulated over their life onto you.
If you’re doing your thing , you become just like a reminder of their own unfulfilled desires.
10.) “You know i have been told
That i am in no Power to control
My events which will follow”
There are two ways to live – one is the proactive way, and the other is reactive.
The proactive approach puts you in the role of a creator, where you strive to achieve specific results.
On the other hand, the reactive way casts you as a follower or conformist, where you accept what’s considered normal or trendy, or even victimize yourself due to external circumstances without attempting to improve.
11.) “Yeah There maybe some truth indeed.”
In this line, I mention that I’ve been advised to embrace the reactive lifestyle, which essentially promotes a state of powerlessness. While there may be some truth to this suggestion, even if I am proactive, I acknowledge that I can’t control every aspect of my life to the fullest extent.
12.) “But do not dare to tell me that i am weak”
This line strongly protests the perception that I am weak. I am committed to a proactive lifestyle, which demands strength.
Recommending me to adopt a reactive approach implies that I am considered weak, and that, in itself, is another type of insult.
13.) “Cause you dont know shit about me
Where ive been
What ive seen”
Many people have no slightest clue where i come from.
14.) “Cause im a soldier actually”
People often have misconceptions about me because not many understand that I am a soldier at war, ready to kill in the name of rap. I am prepared to make sacrifices if necessary.
15.) Breaker for stereotypes and rebel for misery
I break stereotypes. i rebel against things and people that promote misery.
For example things that represent conformity they represent stereotypical passive lifestyle and miserable life experiences.
16.) “That you wanna inject in me.
So badly.”
Some individuals are relentless in trying to convince me that my choices and worldviews are wrong, especially those who oppose my passion for rapping.
It feels as though they are attempting to mentally inject misery into my bloodstream, like using AIDS-infected needles.
17.) So thats normal if i dont follow default scheme which is trapping humanity
Im in all ways against conformity which i call it here “default scheme”. Conformism is the tendency to align one’s beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors with those of the majority or a prevailing social norm, often without critical evaluation or independent thinking.
And i believe that this type of behavior is creating a lot of problems and pain for society. (Trapping humanity) Majority of people are trapped within these behaviors.
As i am “breaker for stereotypes” for me its completely normal to be out of all that conformist movement.
18.) Oh shit im not accepted between depressive bitches
Shit! should i feel now depressed?
Choosing a conformist lifestyle is something that leads to depression for everyone. Regardless, I refuse to feel down simply because I’m not acknowledged by miserable and depressing individuals. The use of the word “bitches” was intentional to express my disdain for them.
However, beneath these lines lies a double meaning. In the past, I associated with people who embraced negativity and self-victimization while engaging in rap. Over time, they became an embodiment of everything I aimed to avoid.
Since 2011, they’ve been unable to accept my transformation. During that period, I started rapping in English, and they no longer recognized me as a rapper. So, I pose a rhetorical question: Should I allow myself to become depressed because I am not accepted by them?(depressing bitches)
19.) But i leave that shit cause i enjoy success
I refuse to succumb to feelings of despair based on your uncertainties. I relish in the fruits of my labor, which is my success.
Success is already a reality because I choose to listen to my heart and rap in English.
It’s also a testament to the fact that despite nobody believing in me, I managed to develop a decent-sounding English rap style. Despite being perceived as Eastern European by many, who might expect me to have an unappealing accent, I’ve succeeded in sounding cool.
20.) “You wanna compete?
But i warned you already that competition ain’t healthy.”
I believe many of these pretensions towards me stem from jealousy, leading me to assume that these individuals desire to compete with me. Here i refer that,I’ve written a song, “Competition,” which is part of my album. In that track, I delve into the reasons why competition can have negative effects on individuals and how a competitive mindset is contributing to the destruction of society.
So, I’m pointing out that there is no point in competing because all you do is just harm yourself.
21.) “But i may be angry too
Angry like a lion and make you look cute
Hello kitty”
People think that by directing their anger towards me, they somehow assert dominance. However, if I were to visibly express my anger, I would go ballistic and make all of you hardcore idiots look as cute as little girl cartoon characters. In comparison, I liken myself to a lion and you to the cartoon character Hello Kitty.
This illustrates the stark difference between me and you.
22.) “I know you pussy
Cause shit you stuck in it demands a person pussy
Someone who can’t say no
So you fucked in your survival mode”
“Pussy” is a play on words referencing Hello Kitty.Conformist lifestyle? Its all very basic and predictable outcome. What I mean by these lines is that you don’t need to be truly brave to adopt a conformist lifestyle or assume the role of a victim. Instead, you become someone who succumbs to the temptation to be one.
When I mention being “fucked in survival mode,” I mean that life then becomes a pure survival instinct, and you accumulate fewer and fewer truly meaningful experiences. In the case of conformity.Life becomes about fulfilling society’s expectations. Typically, this pattern persists until people, on the brink of death, ponder the question, “Was there any life at all?” While self-victimization all it does – It is squandering your potential.
23.) “While im doing dope hip hop and feeling dope”
While i am focused on different things like making dope hip hop which makes me happy.( feeling dope)
24.) “Many situations ive been
Would kill you instantly
Sometimes literary and sometimes no”
My life hasn’t been a picnic. Many of the situations I’ve faced could have either physically or mentally killed people,by mentally killed i mean created state – as low morale.
25.) “But fact is that i have found a gold
While you can’t handle the business”
I have found something that fulfills my life (rap music). It is my treasure (gold). While my doubters are confused in life, I describe it as if they can’t handle the business. I target this towards conformists and people who see self-victimization as something useful.
26.) “Im spitting the hardest
Shit that is illest
Blowing up the spot already in soundchecks
My shit i so hot like a food in tex mex”
My honest opinion on my own music is that. I make some hot shit.
There was a funny misunderstanding with this line. In my city, Ventspils, there is a restaurant called Tex Mex. Some locals thought that I was referring to our restaurant. However, I was actually talking about cuisine—Tex-Mex cuisine, to be precise. Tex-Mex cuisine, derived from the words Texas and Mexico, is a regional American culinary style that originates from the creations of Tejano people (Texans of Spanish Creole heritage). It has spread from border states like Texas and others in the Southwestern United States to the rest of the country. It is a subtype of Southwestern cuisine found in the American Southwest. One of the qualities of this cuisine is that it is spicy (hot).
27.) “Instead to simply pay respect
You disconnect your intellect
Called Kristjan disabled
As a proper puppet for your resentment
Even tho i have a minor glitch
On body side left”
Instead of giving me respect, my haters disconnect their intellectual side and get overwhelmed by emotions caused by jealousy.
Called Kristjan disabled
I’m a stroke survivor since my teens. After the stroke, the left side of my body became slightly paralyzed. My haters often resort to full-on bully tactics. Back in the day, I was strong enough not to label myself as disabled at all.
28.) “As a proper puppet for your resentment”
I believe Back in that time calling me disabled by haters was based on resentment.
Resentment is a deep-seated and persistent feeling of bitterness or indignation resulting from a perceived wrongdoing, mistreatment, or injustice. It often involves harboring negative emotions and holding onto grievances, which can lead to a sense of anger or hostility towards the person or situation that is perceived as the cause of the resentment.
29.) “Even tho i have a minor glitch
On body side left”
Back in those days, my health was not that bad. Yes, I had paralyzed body parts on my left side, but I still considered it a minor issue.
You wish me to be discriminated
Part of My haters simply aim to subject me to bullying and discrimination because of my health condition, attempting to prevent me from being categorized as a normal person.
30.) “Cause sheep was once told that Kristjan should be hated”
A long time ago, I stirred up some turmoil in the Latvian hip-hop scene. As a result, for a few years, it became trendy for people to harbor hate towards me. Today im cool with that and back then i deserved that. But fundamentally many individuals acted like sheep, not bothering to understand the reasoning behind my actions. In Lullaby I encourage my current haters to persist in this cycle of blind hate. To me they are nothing more then a bunch of a dumb sheep.
31.) Yeah it may be that i am not that well placed
In the local rap scene hierarchy
Back in the day, I gained quite the infamous reputation in the Latvian rap scene for my inability to keep quiet. I spoke a lot of negativity that offended fans of my colleagues. Here, I am highlighting a paradox—that despite holding a low position in the local rap scene hierarchy.
32.)”However when people see me on the stage
They are amazed
That i can’t move
But i can make that mofucking crowd move”
I can still make the party go wild. Here, I also want to emphasize that, unlike other rappers who move normally on stage, I am spasticated due to my health condition. Nevertheless, it doesn’t make any difference—I can still excel at my job.
33.) “And that’s what dope mc is suppose to do
Despite of all the shit he is going through
He will do what he has to do
You know i’ve been in trouble for a countless times
But you can’t burst me like a bubble like a powerless minds
Which apply for victim philosophy
Easily”
Trouble is nothing new for me; I deal with it on a daily basis. I am 100% loyal to my duty, which is rap music. There are a lot of obstacles, but i am still fighting. I categorize conformity and self-victimization as a victim philosophy, and I have nothing in common with these powerless minds, who follow it.
34.) Fuck that shit its not for me
And also fuck you
If you do believe in theory that i am weak…
Victim philosophy is not for me. Im telling everyone to fuck off, if they think otherwise.
This line carries a double meaning. Back in those days, my health condition wasn’t as bad as it is now. So, I was also addressing the people who were bullying me based on my physical condition. I believe i could still get in fistfight if needed.
But in general these lyrics were about the fight that i have with certain types of people. And how i say no to their unappealing philosophies.Conformism and Self victimization.
Thank you for reading!